This is an excerpt from my forthcoming book talking to a young man who desires to get married and one day have a family of his own.
Let’s face facts; men want sex and sex is not hard to find. I have three beautiful daughters and I, like them, would like to see them married to principled, godly men, healed in masculinity and driven by my their best interest. Men who know, and are accountable to, the Lord and understand ‘covenant’. The truth is men like that are fast becoming rare, and so there are probably a few things I’d like to say to her suitor…my potential future son.
Dear future son
Life is a wonderful journey, a gift filled with amazing people and incredible stories all designed to draw us to the heart of the Father. God connects us together in ways we would never have considered, placing us in families for His glory.
My wife and I started life in very different circumstances and yet by God’s grace, we found one another and have grown in love and understanding. Through our union we have been blessed to introduce three beautiful girls into the world.
These girls, one of which has captured your heart, have been entrusted to us by the Father to lead, love and nurture into the women He has called them to be. They are not ours; they belong to God. Although they carry His image, they each bear our name. Each daughter is our responsibility to raise and fall under our authority until such time we give her away in marriage. At that moment she will become yours.
I have learnt many lessons in becoming a father. The first of which is that I don’t know everything especially when it comes to raising girls! The joy is knowing that I don’t need to know it all. And neither do you. All we need is to possess a heart that is soft, teachable and open to the nudging of the Spirit of God as He leads us into all truth. I believe that we exist for God’s glory and not vice versa. He has revealed His heart and intentions to us through both His word (the Bible) and His Holy Spirit. No man can have access to what another is thinking. Only his own spirit knows his thoughts. We cannot know what God is thinking except by His Spirit…and yet we have His Spirit living within us which means that we can know His thoughts. I also am confident that His thoughts about us are good and loving, filled with mercy and joy as He wants us to live life to the full. He is a good, good Father.
And so why this letter? It’s because I want the best for my daughter and I know that you desire the best for her too.
What is ‘the best?’ I am convinced it’s a life centered in Christ, growing continually in love, maturity and grace and using our gifts, talents and resources for the glory of His Kingdom.
It is possible to live a rich, full life marked with respect, joy and peace, grounded in faithfulness and rooted in love. You will never avoid suffering, conflict or pain but you will have an unshakeable foundation during times of crisis anchored to an eternal hope.
You may have not experienced the same kind of upbringing that my daughter has had but that’s just fine. Embracing a future filled with hope can be your reality. Over the course of this book, I will share with you life lessons and Godly principles. Embracing them with intentionality will empower you to be the man my daughter will be proud to call her husband. Think of it as my investment into your life as you choose to lose your life and gain everything! Let the journey begin…
Wayne Nel 